Jeff Foxworthy on Pennsylvania:

If you consider it a sport to gather your
food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting
there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you
might live in Pennsylvania.

If you're proud that your region makes the
national news 96 nights each year because Bradford is
the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in
Pennsylvania.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from
November through March, you might live in
Pennsylvania.

If you instinctively walk like a penguin for  five
months out of the year, you might live in
Pennsylvania.

If someone in a store offers you assistance,  and
they don't work there, you might live in
Pennsylvania.
If your dad's suntan stops at a line
curving around the middle of his forehead, you might
live in  Pennsylvania.

If you have worn shorts and a parka at the
same time, you might live in Pennsylvania.

If your town has an equal number of bars
and  churches, you might live in Pennsylvania.

If you have had a lengthy telephone
conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number,
you might live in Pennsylvania.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE Pennsylvanian WHEN:


1. "Vacation" means going up north past I-80  for the
weekend.

2. You measure distance in hours.

3. You know several people who have hit a deer
more than once.

4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in  the
same day and back again.

5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow
during a raging blizzard, without flinching.

6. You see people wearing camouflage at social
events (including weddings).

7. You install security lights on your house  and
garage and leave all the doors unlocked.

8. You carry jumper cables in your car and your
girlfriend knows how to use them.

9. You design your kid's Halloween costume to  fit
over a snowsuit.

10. Driving is better in the winter because  the
potholes are filled with snow.

11. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter,  winter,
still winter and road  construction.

12. You can identify a southern or eastern  accent.


13. Your idea of creative landscaping is a
concrete statue of a deer next to your  blue spruce.

14. You were unaware that there is a legal  drinking
age.

15. Down South to you means Pittsburgh. > >>
16. A critter is something you eat. >>
17. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate
his new pole shed.

18. You go out to fish fry every Friday.

1. YOUR 4TH OF JULY PICNIC WAS MOVED INDOORS
DUE TO FROST.
20. You have more miles on your snow blower
than your car.

21. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."
22. You actually understand these jokes, and
you forward them to all your Pennsylvania
friends.